Friday, May 16, 2008

a letter to my body

thanks for putting up with me. i have put you through some crazy stuff, and you have always been there. from my fashions to my diet, dancing to excercise, you have stuck with me.

i never truly appreciated your strength until i didn't have it. you were always strong, and then one day, you weren't. i mourned that loss. i missed what i had taken for granted. you had already given so much, did i just exhaust you? i took such good care of you and then i shoved three kids through you in the same number of years and demanded that you shelter and nourish them, and you kept up every step of the way. thanks.

i'll admit that i didn't always appreciate you the way that i should have. you were always gorgeous, even when i couldn't see it. can i have that look back? the self-confidence of a teenager, and the hip width? the clothes i put you in! (i'm emberassed to recall) but somehow you made them look so sexy and stylish, even when i was the only one wearing it. you let me indulge in my hobbies on the stage and the court. i couldn't have done it without you. thanks.

now i appreciate you so much more, after seeing you in action. after having seen you do what you were meant for, i am amazed. to grow a child out of seemingly nothing, and then safely and naturally releasing that baby out into the world, congratulations on a job well done. to watch you swell and feel you lift, pull, contract and push another body just like yours. i can't fathom it, it's a miracle. and i can never thank you enough for what you have done. but i can try. thanks.

and now we get to travel some more. you have changed so much. was i an instrument of that change? i think so. you are a woman now. but you still make me feel sexy. you aren't skinny, or smooth or flat (except your breasts), but you are ripe. you are juicy and sweet and desireable. you make me feel desireable. i wouldn't be the same without you, or with a different version of you. you make me who i am. thanks.

you nourish, comfort, strengthen and protect myself and those i love. you feed my children, hold my husband, let me get to the top of that peak or through one more song. the joy you bring to my life! thanks.

yours forever,
*abby

2 comments:

april said...

ah, don't make me cry! this is truly beautiful!

Sallyseashell said...

I fell in love with your blog. yep -randomn stranger who you don't know! But I feel like there's some of my voice in your blog-only you are so much more eloquent at writing it all down.
Sally
(breastfeeding, co-sleeping, babywearing, homebirthing, Non-circumcising, LDS mom in Cedar City)