I shaved my armpits about a week ago. It was a whim. It was kind of nice at first, but now I"m kind of over it. It's not like shaving my armpits has made my husband love me more, or given me more patience with my children, or encouraged me to vacuum. Shaving my armpits hasn't made me smarter or skinnier. It hasn't really changed a whole lot, except that they're itchy now. Not exactly an improvement.
I have an earring collection of ginormous proportions. Seriously. My earring rack is completely full and now I have neat little piles on my dresser so as not to lose or tangle a set. Plus I take all my other pairs off in random places like the kitchen or the bathroom, so I actually have another third of earrings that I don't see often. But you know the weird thing about this earring collection? It seems I can never find just the right pair to wear with my outfit. It would go something like this:
"hmm, well my skirt is red, but I'm really feeling these orange earrings today, do I have anything clean that would work with the orange ones? No, not really. Hmm, well, the blue ones are nice, but no, I really want to wear the orange ones, but I don't want to change out of this awesome, twirly, ginormous red skirt."
So what do I do? I wear the orange earrings with the red skirt. Wearing orange earrings with a red skirt doesn't make me any skinnier, or smarter or patient, but it makes me happier, and that seems to be the most important. So the next time you see me, if my earrings have absolutely nothing to do with my outfit, now you will know why.